There are times when you know that your day will not be productive. You just have that feeling, that presence of mind that makes it difficult to get moving or focused on tasks. Today was one of those days. I wasted a good portion of the day. Some would say that is the intent of vacation days but I feel otherwise. I paid bills and took care of a few things but that was primarily it. I ended the day with a fierce game of racquetball with Dan. I actually won a game this time and of course, it was great to expend some energy that had been building up.
I watched Must Love Dogs tonight. I was really eager to see it when it was on at the movies but never got there. Watching it tonight, however, I was fairly indifferent to it. It never really did pull me in and more often than not, I found the characters and story pretty shallow. There was a rich opportunity to really dig into the drastic measures people go to meet someone or the well-meaning but not appreciated steps friends and family take to help their loved ones find a "match" so that they can be happy and complete in life. I guess it just struck a nerve with me tonight. So many are held captive by the desire for that special someone, for that one-of-a-kind relationship with a soul mate. When I see the desperation in others, it makes me sad that it consumes them so. But it also bothers me because I recognize that desperate feeling in myself at times. Some days are just fine. Some days I’m happy as a lark going it on my own. But then there are other days. Other days where the desire for a soul mate, a best friend, is incredibly strong. Days when you remember the richness and joy of being a valued member of a two-person team against the rest of the world. Days when you replay feelings of contentment and excitement that come at the beginning of special relationships when all that lies ahead of you is hope and possibilities. Days when you long to have someone to talk through your day with or to simply hold hands with as you say nothing because nothing needs to be said. Those days are hard. But they don’t last. Eventually, they come to an end and a new day begins.
As do the years in our life. 2005 was a rough year in my life. A rough year on the heart. A rough year on the innocence. But a year doesn’t last. Eventually, it, too, comes to an end and a new year begins. Life is too short to let the hard things linger too long. At some point, we must choose to close it out, find peace in whatever way we can, and move forward. As 2005 fades out, my prayer is that you will join me in closing out the rough days of 2005, make peace with whatever and whomever you must, and move forward with great anticipation towards 2006.
Peace – Melissa
All opinions, whether implied or expressed, are the individual opinions of the contributors to this site and do not necessarily represent the views of First Baptist Church of Jefferson City, Missouri.
