Archive - September, 2006

To Be Held

"Natalie Grant – Held"


Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

(Chorus) …
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held

Rusted Out Buckets

Sometimes it takes me a long time to figure things out.  To do what I know.  To follow where I’m led.  To surrender to what is right.  To let go of what is wrong.

I chase after vanishing winds. I harness nothing which powers nothing.

I put my energies into bags with holes and rusted-out buckets.

"Take a good, hard look at your life.  Think it over. 
You have spent a lot of money, but you haven’t much to show for it. 
You keep filling your plates, but you never get filled up. 
You keep drinking and drinking and drinking, but you’re always thirsty. 
You put on layer after layer of clothes, but you can’t get warm. 
And the people who work for you [or minister to], what are they getting out of it?  Not much – a leaky, rusted-out bucket, that’s what. 

That’s why God-of-the-Angel Armies said:
‘Take a good, hard look at your life.  Think it over.’

Then God said:
‘Here’s what I want you to do: 
Climb into the hills and cut some timber.  Bring it down and rebuild the Temple. 
Do it just for me.  Honor me.
You’ve had great ambitions for yourselves, but nothing has come of it.
The little you have brought to my Temple I’ve blown away – there was nothing to it.

And why?  Because while you’ve run around, caught up with taking care of your own houses, my Home is in ruins.  That’s why.  Because of your stinginess.’"
                                                                          (Haggai 1:5-10)

If there ever were a family resemblence . . .
__ caught up with taking care of my own house?  CHECK
__ stingy?  CHECK
__ great ambitions for myself?  CHECK
__ put energy and time and love into rusted-out buckets?  CHECK
__ not warm enough; fed enough; content enough?  CHECK
__ brought my leftovers to God and hope God will work them? CHECK

Climb into the hills.  Rebuild the temple.
Do it just for God. Honor God.

My primary purpose is my relationship with God.  Ministry is an overflow.

Power of Prose

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- ee cummings

Overflow

From a book I’m reading titled Girls’ Ministry 101 by Whitney Prosperi.

Determine right now that your first priority will be your relationship with God.  Do you place your time with God above everything else in your life – your comfort? Your things? Your recreation? Relationships? Ministry?  Even the girls you minister to?  If God is first, the rest will fall into place.  If he’s not, the rest will fall apart.  God created your for himself.  He created you to worship and know him first – not to minister.  Ministry comes from the overflow.  It isn’t our primary purpose.  The reason we have breath today is to know him.

What a slap upside the head and a relief all at the same time.  Walloped with a dead trout upside the noggin with something I know but tend to forget. I was reading this today over a turkey sandwich at Subway when I just began to cry. How true it is that everything falls apart.  How freeing it is for this perfectionist to hear that my primary purpose is to worship and know God.  Ministry is empty and draining when I neglect the Giver.  I have nothing to give to these teenagers when I don’t spend my time receiving from God. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many fish I kissed regarding this principle.  But let’s just say there have been a lot.  If they had been toads, I would have at least five princes waiting in line for me.

But each time, the slap brings me back to a reality that is more satisfying than any batter-fried catfish or broiled salmon. Freedom in Christ is the most delectable taste in all the world.  I wouldn’t savor the taste if I didn’t know how miserable it was to go without for a while.

To know that ministry is an overflow is both freeing and convicting.  If I don’t tend to my relationship with God, there will be nothing to overflow from me onto the youth of this church and this community. 

Here’s hoping you get fish-slapped, too.

San Antonio Report

Sunday morning I give a report to our church about our Mission Trip this summer to San Antonio, Texas.  I only have eight minutes and it is definitely a challenge to convey in 8 minutes an infinite amount of emotions and thoughts.  But I nor anyone else desires to be at the church for an infinite amount of time so I follow the guidelines.   Below is the text of my report followed by the video that I put together for it.  I hope you will be encouraged by these things and will offer up a special prayer for the children of San Antonio and all over the world that are the victims of our many frailities and failures as adults.

San Antonio Trip Report

I wish this morning that I could give each one of you a special pill that would allow you to experience with all your senses what we experienced on our youth mission trip to San Antonio.  I wish you could hear the screams of delight and the words of anger from the children we worked with there.  I wish you could smell the humanity at the Mission Oaks Center for Adults with Mental Disabilities.  I wish you could taste the satisfaction of a hard-earned evening meal prepared by Fred McKay, Carl and Karen Morris and Sondra Allen.  I wish you could see the beautiful brown eyes on the faces of the children and the uncomfortable, itching white of the lice in their hair.  I wish you could feel the weight of a child on your back who refuses to get off because he just wants to feel a loving and appropriate touch from another human.  I wish you could hear the silence of our bus as we drove away from these children on the last day of that week – a silence broken only by the weeping youth and adults who were leaving some of their heart in San Antonio.  As one youth said, “We knew it would be hard to leave, but we never expected it to break our hearts.”

If my wishes were granted, your life would be changed just as our lives were changed by what God taught us.

Forty-eight youth (grades 7 – 12) and 15 adults went to San Antoniowith the purpose of being the presence of Christ.  Our theme verse came from Paul’s letter to the believers of Philippi in which he instructed them to “Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God.”

Our youth and leaders did just that because of God at work in them and through them. 

·        They were a breath of fresh air to the children of the San Antonio Housing Projects of Villa Veremendi, Cassiano and Wheatly and the Sunrise Learning Center where we played games, taught songs, shared Bible stories, made crafts and simply loved on the kids from 9 am until 3 pm each day.  Our kids were tired.  It was hot.  One of my girls at the end of the first day said, “That was the longest day of my life.” But they didn’t give up.  They worked hard knowing that their time was short to teach these children a message they don’t often hear – the message that they are beautiful and special and loved by God.

·        They were a breath of fresh air to the adults of the Mission Oaks Disabilities Center whose world is so small and scary and alone.  Our youth brought the gift of music and the gift of youth to these special children of God and we were all blessed by what took place there.

·        They were a breath of fresh air to over 100 youth of the Bexar County Juvenile Detention Center.  Youth ranging in age from 9 to 17 who have followed a path that led them to incarceration. Our youth stood in front of them and sang words about freedom in Christ that is offered to all.  Cori Jenkins, one of our seniors last year, brought a message of grace and love to a group of peers that have a much different story than her own.

·        They were a breath of fresh air to the members of the Crestview Baptist Church in San Antonio and the Gaston Oaks Baptist Church in Plano where they were able to preach through the gift of music that God has given them and that they have committed to give back.

I wish I could give you such a pill that would share all these things with you but I can’t.  The most I can do is to thank you on behalf of the youth and adults that gave a week of their summer and the children of San Antonio who shared that week with us. Thank you for giving money to help make this trip possible; thanks for praying for us while we were away.  But most importantly, thank you for continuing to give and for continuing to pray so that First Baptist Church can continue to be a breath of fresh air in our community and around the world.

Enjoy these snapshots from our trip this summer.

** Video was deleted by author because it took too freaking long to load.  However, if you really, really want to see it you may go here.

Friday Five: Five Fav Things From the Week

The Friday Five this week from Revgals is to list five favorite things from this past week. With a nice prompt to find the good in a week I barely remember, here goes:

1. Road Trip with the youth – Last Saturday and Sunday I took many youth to some concerts. I love hanging out with my youth.  They help me remember to just have a good time and that craziness is coolness.

2. Monday Hiberation – I didn’t leave the house or talk to a soul on Monday. That is a perfect 10 day!!!

3. One of my junior guys running across the courtyard before the varisty high school volleyball game and yelling "I love you, Mel."  It is just nice to know that you are loved and that I still have enough coolness that the kids aren’t embarassed by me.

4. Time with my nephew, Blake, on Thursday.  He is so darn cute and smart. 

5. I’m still kickin.

Peace -Mel

HaHaHa

Creeps746459_1 I totally agree!! :)

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