Wonderings and Wanderings

I’ve been reading The Ragamuffin Gospel as my devotional book now for a couple of weeks.  Even taking just a chapter a day, I know I will need to reread this book because there is so much to chew on in Brennan Manning’s writings.  It has been a tremendous and challenging read in so many ways but very powerful for me in his consistent and dogged pursuit of communicating God’s grace.  My copy is marked up significantly -everything from stories to sentences quote to short phrases that shot straight to my very soul.

I’m convinced that we must repeat over and over again the beauty and shocking truth of God’s grace – not just for those who have not heard it of it before but especially for those who have heard about it all our lives and are at great risk of taking grace for granted.  How easy it is for us to sing the chorus of Amazing Grace and at the same time the words of ’saved a wretch like me’ are falling from our lips our eyes are critiquing fashion styles and our minds are criticizing tempo speeds. We take grace for granted.  We short-change grace. We water it down and tidy it up and box it in and block it out.  So many things about religion rob us of the soul-shocking, mind-blowing truth of grace.

In Manning’s book, he discusses the idea of second journeys.  Second journeys for the Christian, he says, usually occur between the ages of thirty and sixty and is often accompanied by a second call from the Lord Jesus.  The second call invites us to serious reflection on the nature and quality of our faith in the gospel of grace, our hope in the new and not yet, and our love for God and people. The call asks, Do you really accept the message that God is head over heels in love with you? (165)

I understand better than ever that this question is at the heart of spiritual maturity and growth. As Manning says, if in our hearts we really don’t believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross.

It is amazing how you can hear about something repeatedly and yet fail to truly grasp it.  And then in the moments when the weight of the meaning penetrates your mind and soul, you are left breathless and in tears of gratitude. Is it not the desire of every individual to be loved this way? Yet we so ignorantly toss it aside and desperately grab at things around us to give us the sense of peace that God alone provides.

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us – that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough." Manning (46)

My prayer tonight is that for each of us God will be our everything and that will be enough.

Shalom-
Melissa

From The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning:

On a sweltering summer night in New Orleans, sixteen recovering alcoholics and drug addicts gather for their weekly AA meeting.  Although several members attend other meetings during the week, this is their home group. They have been meeting on Tuesday nights for several years and know each other well.  Some talk to each other daily on the telephone; others socialize outside the meetings.  The personal investment in one another’s sobriety is sizable. Nobody fools anybody else. Everyone is there because he or she made a slobbering mess of his or her life and is trying to put the pieces back together. Each meeting is marked by levity and seriousness. Some members are wealthy, others middle class or poor. Some smoke, others don’t. Most drink coffee. Some have graduate degrees, others have not finished high school. For one small hour, the high and the mighty descend and the lowly rise. The result is fellowship.

The meeting opened with the Serenity Prayer followed by a moment of silence. The prologue to Alcoholics Anonymous was read from the Big Book by Harry, followed by the Twelve Steps of the program from Michelle.  That night, Jack was the appointed leader.  "The theme I would like to talk about tonight is gratitude," he began, "But if anyone wants to talk about something else, let’s hear it."

Immediately Phil’s hand shot up. "As you know, last week I went up to Pennsylvania to visit family and missed the meeting. You also know I have been sober for seven years. Last Monday I got drunk and stayed drunk for five days."

The only sound in the room was the drip of Mr. Coffee in the corner.

"You all know the buzz word, H.A.L.T., in this program." he continued.  "Don’t let yourself get hungry, angry, lonely, or tired or you will be very vulnerable for the first drink. The last three got to me. I unplugged the jug and . . . "

Phil’s voice choked and he lowered his head. I glanced around the table – moist eyes, tears of compassion, soft sobbing the only sound in the room.

"The same thing happened to me, Phil, but I stayed drunk for a year."

"Thank God you’re back."

"Boy, that took a lot of guts."

"Relapse spells relief, Phil," said a substance abuse counselor. "Let’s get together tomorrow and figure out what you needed relief from and why."

"I’m so proud of you."

"Hell, I never made even close to seven years."

As the meeting ended, Phil stood up. He felt a hand on his shoulder, another on his face. Then kisses on his eyes, forehead, neck and cheek.  "You old ragamuffin," said Denise. "Let’s go. I’m treating you to a banana split at Tastee Freeze."

If only our churches and communities of faith were more like this AA meeting. That is my prayer and my vision.

Peace and grace -
Melissa