Wonderings and Wanderings

I’m reading a great book right now entitled Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli, son of youth ministry guru, Mike Yaconelli.  It is amazing!  In fact, I read about two-thirds of the book this evening which is evidence of how good it is and also evidence that I am not taking the necessary time to really engage the text which is a shame.  I am going to have to slow down and journey through it again. It is a must read for anyone that works with youth – minister or volunteer, paid or unpaid. I’d been happy to loan my copy if it will allow you to read it.

For a great review of the book (which has been out in the US for over a year), click here to read it on Jonny Baker’s blog.

I really resonate with what Yaconelli shares in this book and it affirms in many ways my philosophy of youth ministry as well as challenges me about the way I’ve been approaching and worrying about my ministry to youth.  It is very easy to be misguided by self-expectations and the expectations of the church. When you listen to these voices over being in the presence of God and loving out of that presence, well…. things get messed up. This book helps you get back to the heart of why we love teenagers and desire to share life with them.

It is a beauitful evening tonight.  It has been incredibly hot in the midwest and we finally had some rain and a little relief today in the tempartures.  I’m sitting on deck enjoying the sounds of nature and a cool breeze. Wireless internet is so amazing…  Ha.  You thought I was going all nature on you.  Okay – that part is absolutely wonderful as well.

The youth are all officially back to school today. Some started last week but most went today.  I thought of them often throughout the day.  Wondering how they were doing, if they found someone to eat with in the cafeteria, if they knew anyone in their classes, if they were feeling insecure as they walked the hallways or entered a classroom.  That last one is a no brainer. The teenage years can be incredibly tough! It takes a lot of courage to walk into school every day or to deal with the harshness of peers that are eager to take you down a notch so that they feel better about themselves.  Many times adults sarcastically remark that it doesn’t get much better as adults.

But it does.  Or at least we have the ability to handle it better than when we were in high school.  To not take it personally.  To understand the reasons behind the way some adults treat others. To know that we don’t have to respond the same way we were treated. That comes from age and experience and wisdom.  Advantages we have.  For many teenagers, the younger ones imparticular, they are not yet developing that ability to look outside themselves and see things from another perspective. 

That is why they need caring and wise adults in their lives.  To help them during these challenging years of adolescence.  To guide them to look at things differently.  To develop a Christ-heart towards others.  To give them a different reaction than the world teaches to those who mock you or hurt you. 

Yet . . . it is hard to find adults who haven’t bought into the worldview. Young people watch adults around them and what do they see?  Often its the same thing they see in the hallway, in the locker room, or on their myspaces.  Personal competition, pettiness, gossip masked as prayer requests and Christian concern, restrained but poorly hidden joy at the falleness of another. 

The good is that our youth see that we all struggle with these things even adults. The temptation is always there. But with temptation we have a choice.  And only by God’s grace and strength can we choose the selfless road of Christ. And only by God’s grace can we ask and receive forgiveness when we fail

This is the time of year when I say goodbye for now nearly every day.  My youth are heading to college. For those who are returning, our final times are filled with updates on summer and plans for the year.  A nice hug, a prayer and a reminder to stay in touch.

But it is the final lunch or breakfast with my youth that are leaving for the first time that gets me the most.  I’ve had breakfast and lunch nearly every day this week with these youth and so nearly every day this week has had some tears. I just can’t help it.  I make it through most of the meal and then as the inevitable is nearing and goodbyes are coming, the tears start. I’ve learned to embrace and accept them.  God uses it as a way to let the kids know how much I really love them and that they will be missed.  God also uses it to allow them to face some of the emotions they are feeling with the impending changes.  There is excitement and fear, hope and worry.  I don’t know how parents do it. After six years, my heart hurts to say goodbye and to know that I won’t see them at every event or each week. One of my guys has been at my house almost every Tuesday night for the last four years!!  That is a routine that I will greatly miss.

At the same time, I am so excited about seeing what God has in store for them.  Excited, scared, hopeful and worried – just like them.  You never know what a day will bring in life.  The very best that I could have given them is to guide them to a faith that is their own so that they know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God goes with them – just as my prayers and love do as well.

What a honor and joy to have shared this journey of their life.  I look forward to hearing and seeing the rest of the journey.