Wonderings and Wanderings

The youth in my youth group teach me a lot of things.  There are the very useful things like how to master the Wii, how to have fun, how to fart on demand (okay, I already had that mastered.)  They remind me that you can make a difference and that it is never to late to start. They remind me to relax and that to be present in some one’s life is more important than designing a stellar program or event. They teach me that selfishness is pervasive and that I once was as awkward and self-conscious as they are and I would be wise to not forget it.

They frustrate me a lot, too.  I can’t count how many times we have a really great discussion or retreat and then in the next breath my youth are treating each other like no class citizens.  I love social networking until I read the passive-aggressive status that “wish a certain someone would just get over herself” or “hate it went so-called ‘friends’ ditch you at the last moment for their loser boyfriend”.   One can’t helped but feel used when the only time you see or hear from a youth that you’ve cared for is when they need a reference or recommendation or they are having a horrible time in life.  But you hang in there with them.  Because you love them.  Because God strengthens you to love them. And because you are reminded ….

The way my youth behave is how I behave with God.  First of all, let it be noted that I’m not comparing myself to God.  Despite my occasional joke stating otherwise or because of that one t-shirt I wear that declares “I have the body of a god” accompanied by a picture of Buddha.  The comparisons here are completely in the way my youth act and respond to someone that loves them and the way I act and respond to Someone who loves me.  How many times does God teach me something and I’m totally excited about it and like, ready to live it out 24/7 and then, like, forget it, like, in 24 minus 7.  How many times do I acknowledge the debt that God has forgiven me and then turned around and expect a friend, a church member, or a youth to pay up now or pay later with interest (aka passive aggressive behavior).  How many times do I run to God only when I need God to fix a problem, calm a worry, answer an unknown, or recommend me to an awesome guy whom He knows really well.   Yet God hangs in there with me.  Because God loves me and forgives me.  Sure, God lets me fall on my face or down the stairs in front of hundreds landing, wisely, at His feet.  But He is always waiting at the bottom to pick me up, to brush me off, and walk with me again. And after making sure I’m okay, to rib me until my ego is put into place.

It took me awhile to learn this lesson but it was a lesson well-learned. I’m a better youth pastor for it.  By no means perfect but glad that when I get frustrated with my youth, God whispers in my ear, “I know exactly how you feel.”

For those that know me really well, you know I drive a red jeep.

My jeep was the first car I ever bought and in June, she will be 13 years old.  I’m very attached to her, people know me by my red jeep, and despite a few scares, she is still running.  Her speakers are blown, her radio has died, her driver’s door lock freezes up in the winter, and she makes funny noises but she is still faithful.

I’ve been asked many times if I have a name for her and suprisingly, I don’t.  Even though I always refer to her as a … her.  So, I’ve decided it is time to give her a name. I think she deserves one. But I want your help.

Leave your name suggestion for my jeep as a comment below.  After a week, I’ll pick my three faves and then give you a chance to vote it down to one.  Whomever suggests the winning name will receive a special surprise from my jeep.

Have you ever felt like you and God needed couples counseling? I know there have been times in my faith journey when it probably would have been helpful.  I know that even more now that I’ve read an amazing book by Susan Isaacs titled Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky But Authentic Spiritual Memoir.  Isaacs shares her personal journey with God with wit, raw honesty, and a vulnerability that fleshes out struggles with God  – struggles of which most of us can relate.   This book  resonated with me so strongly that I couldn’t put it down – even when I had to get up early for a trip to St. Louis.    I read the last half of the book last night in bed and throughout it I had an incredible sense of God’s presence with me.  Isaacs creates such brilliant picture  of  the beauty and delight of a living relationship with God.  Even in the fighting, the frustrations, and the silence she makes you long for God.  I’d rather be fighting and frustrated with the living God than be obedient to an impersonal god. And this coming from someone who craves peace in life.

I walked away from the book with two significant feelings and challenges.  First of all, it truly created in me a desire for more intimate conversations and moments with God.  I just wanted to be still.  No agendas.  no requests. I just wanted to chill with God – in a hammock, with a great breeze, no conversation.  Okay, maybe an occasional one-liner from God about Rush Limbaugh or cheesy Christian merchandise.  But really, I crave to delight more in the Lord; way less talk about desires.

The challenge I walked away with was wondering how I’ve created God in my image.  A key part of Isaacs’s journey is understanding the voice that she has forced upon God  based on her experiences, her own voice, and the people that have come and gone in her life.  It is difficult to assess that on your own because you are so enmeshed in it.  But reading this book and seeing Isaac identify the voice that is her voice and not God’s voice, I wondered what of me is in my view of God.  That isn’t an overnight discovery.  

Angry Conversations is a treasure in an age of rampid prosperity gospel messages from the church and Christian leaders.  We think we are owed so much by God and get royally pissed when God seems to not hold up his end of the bargain.  There is no bargain.  We aren’t owed anything.  What we are gifted with is a God who will be our God.  Desiring anything more is pure greed and abuse of our relationship; not to mention evidence of our inability to understand what we truly need and how God truly loves. No one wants to be used – God included.  I’m deeply grateful for that reminder by Susan Isaacs.

I get this question a lot:  “What the heck is Twitter?”   Sometimes it is difficult to explain.  If people are active Facebook users, they understand the idea of just getting status updates which helps a lot.  But even active Facebook users, like many of my youth, have tried Twitter only to quickly give up with an exasperated, “I DON’T GET IT!”.

So here is a short educational video to help those who want to know more.  HT to Existential Punk for pointing me to it.

Came across a neat twitter today called @Tweetvo.  Every day you get a devo in 140 characters or less that you can text or tweeter to others.  It’s a great tool for youth ministry.  Here is just one sample from Feb. 27th.  Love what it says:

Christian convictions vary & thatz OK*B Tru 2 wut God convix U about & let God convict others*Your job is 2 luv & let th Spirit convict

Wish more people would follow this – including myself.  So easy to take your own convictions and impose them on others but that is not what God instructs us to do.

Headed to Springfield, Missouri, tonight for an event.  Last year I read a great book by Ron Hall and Denver Moore titled Same Kind of Different As Me. Outstanding book about the deep friendship that developed between Ron and Denver.  Denver was a homeless man who met Ron when Ron and his wife began volunteering at the local homeless shelter.  It was his wife’s idea and passion but it truly changed Ron’s life.   Tonight they are speaking in Springfield, Missouri, at an event to support the local homeless shelter in Springfield, Victory Mission.  I’m so looking forward to hearing them in person.

On Thursday, March 5th, find a local theatre to see A Powerful Noise.  Take part in this exclusive International Women’s Day event on March 5, 2009, featuring the acclaimed documentary film, A Powerful Noise, followed by a live town hall discussion to 450 movie theatres. This event begins at 7:30pmET/ 6:30pmCT/ 5:30pmMT/ 8pmPT. Panelists include: Madeline Albright, Natalie Portman, Nicholas Kristof, Christy Turlington Burns, and Dr. Helen Gayle.  I’m taking a group to the film in Columbia, MO.  If you want to go, let me know.  Cost is $15.  We leave at 5:30 pm and will be back around 9 pm.