Wonderings and Wanderings

Meditation by Claudia Mair Burney in the book Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson (pp. 80-81)

“Jesus lives next door.  He’s an eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother.  The Son of Man looks like those starving Ethiopian children.  He only gets breakfast and lunch at school, when he makes it.  His mama is a crack whore. Nobody knows where his daddy is.  I heard his mama lets her “Johns” do things to him.

Poor King of Kings.

Jesus is two houses down and has six children.  Now he’s pregnant with the seventh.  I don’t know if he hasn’t figured out what birth control is, or what, but how does he expect his husband to feed all those babies on that salary? And you know with all those kids the Lord of Lords can’t work.  That means hardworking taxpayers’ money has to go for Christ’s food stamps!

He needs to get fixed.

The Lord is a crazy man – paranoid schizophrenic.  If he doesn’t take his medication, he walks up and down the street cussing and spitting on everybody he passes.  He’s homeless.  Nobody knows where his family is – if he’s got one.  Digs out of the trash cans for food.  Somebody ought to get him off the street.

Jesus is nothing but a nuisance.

I’m starting to see the Son of God everywhere I go.  He’s always crying or begging or looking pitiful.  Why doesn’t he pull himself up by his boostraps?  This is Amercia!  Makes me mad.  He’s ruining our neighborhood.

Somebody out to do something about him.

Somebody.”

Have you ever felt like you and God needed couples counseling? I know there have been times in my faith journey when it probably would have been helpful.  I know that even more now that I’ve read an amazing book by Susan Isaacs titled Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky But Authentic Spiritual Memoir.  Isaacs shares her personal journey with God with wit, raw honesty, and a vulnerability that fleshes out struggles with God  – struggles of which most of us can relate.   This book  resonated with me so strongly that I couldn’t put it down – even when I had to get up early for a trip to St. Louis.    I read the last half of the book last night in bed and throughout it I had an incredible sense of God’s presence with me.  Isaacs creates such brilliant picture  of  the beauty and delight of a living relationship with God.  Even in the fighting, the frustrations, and the silence she makes you long for God.  I’d rather be fighting and frustrated with the living God than be obedient to an impersonal god. And this coming from someone who craves peace in life.

I walked away from the book with two significant feelings and challenges.  First of all, it truly created in me a desire for more intimate conversations and moments with God.  I just wanted to be still.  No agendas.  no requests. I just wanted to chill with God – in a hammock, with a great breeze, no conversation.  Okay, maybe an occasional one-liner from God about Rush Limbaugh or cheesy Christian merchandise.  But really, I crave to delight more in the Lord; way less talk about desires.

The challenge I walked away with was wondering how I’ve created God in my image.  A key part of Isaacs’s journey is understanding the voice that she has forced upon God  based on her experiences, her own voice, and the people that have come and gone in her life.  It is difficult to assess that on your own because you are so enmeshed in it.  But reading this book and seeing Isaac identify the voice that is her voice and not God’s voice, I wondered what of me is in my view of God.  That isn’t an overnight discovery.  

Angry Conversations is a treasure in an age of rampid prosperity gospel messages from the church and Christian leaders.  We think we are owed so much by God and get royally pissed when God seems to not hold up his end of the bargain.  There is no bargain.  We aren’t owed anything.  What we are gifted with is a God who will be our God.  Desiring anything more is pure greed and abuse of our relationship; not to mention evidence of our inability to understand what we truly need and how God truly loves. No one wants to be used – God included.  I’m deeply grateful for that reminder by Susan Isaacs.

Maybe you’ve heard by now or have seen this in stores recently but Lifeway Christian Stores have done it again in their quest to play the role of Holy Spirit in the lives of readers.  In January, they put this disclaimer on their website and began placing “Please Read with Discernment™.” stickers on select books by select authors.  (Please note the trademark on that phrase.)

Shouldn’t everything be read with discernment?  If not, then we could save a lot of money by returning to a few select religious leaders having the only copies of the Scripture and just telling us what it says.  (Hmmm.. wait a minute… that sounds familiar.) Of course, that would impact sales as well so perhaps not. To their credit, Lifeway does state that:

While we recognize that almost every title requires some measure of discernment, certain titles should clearly be read with extra discernment.

Who has earned this sacred sticker indicating the need for extra discernment?  Well, so far, the lucky winners (in no particular order) are Rob Bell, Donald Miller, and Brian McLaren.  Bell is most known for Velvet Elvis, Miller for Blue Like Jazz and McLaren for … well, several heretical works that encourage loving God, loving others, and kingdom living this side of death.  The nerve…..

I only wish that these stickers had been on these books when I first discovered them.  Perhaps I wouldn’t have bought every book currently published by each of these authors.   I would have saved money and an entire row on my bookshelf for safe, Lifeway-Spirit endorsed books that can teach me that God wants to bless me with money and stuff; that I was destined by God to buy that book by that author on that day; that I’m not fulfilling my purpose in life by staying single and childless; and that I want to be like Kirk Cameron and not be left behind.

Unfortunately, there were no stickers available at the time I saw those flashy titles calling to me from the various displays.  I love Jazz and the Smurfs.  How could I not pick up a copy of Blue Like Jazz? Jazzy Smurf was one of my favorites.  Imagine my surprise when I started reading.  And don’t get me started on Bell and McLaren.

Without the aid of the discernment labels, I was exposed to such unsound theology as:

• God is love.
• God is mysterious.
• It isn’t about me.
• Jesus wasn’t joking when he said “Love God with everything and love your neighbor. Everything hinges on these two commandments.”
• The Kingdom of God is the here and now, not just the everafter.
• The grace of God shows no partiality and has no limits.
• Penguins have good sex.

Thanks a lot, Lifeway.  It’s too late now.  I’m obviously screwed up.

Tonight was the last meeting of my book club for 2008.  We didn’t read a book for tonight’s meeting but instead gathered for food, fellowship, and to plan for 2009.  Everyone was to bring two book recommendations for 2009 for the group to read.  We would all get our first choice and then we would put our second choices into a hat and draw books for the remaining months.  There are 8 of us so 4 of us were able to get our second choices in there. 

We have an excellent line-up for 2009.  I can’t remember all of the books selected at this time but here are a few I remember:

• Three Cups of Tea (my first choice)
• Outlander
• Love, Rosie
• Wuthering Heights
• Traveling Mercies
• The Glass Castle
• Nickled and Dimed
• Eat, Pray, Love
• Animal, Vegetable, Mineral: A Year of Food Life

I’m excited about reading this books. I’ve read Traveling Mercies and Nickled and Dimed and loved them both! I’ve read part of Eat, Pray, Love and it was good but I just wasn’t in the mood to finish it.  I will this time though.

The other book that I recommend was What is the What by Dave Eggers.  It is a New York Time’s Best Selling fictionial account of a true story of a Lost Boy of Sudan.  I haven’t read it yet but I’ve read other books along this line and find them very powerful.  So even though the group is not reading it, it is on my “To-Read” shelves in my office.  Yes, plural.  I have a lot.  Some girls buy shoes.  I buy books.

I’ve been reading The Ragamuffin Gospel as my devotional book now for a couple of weeks.  Even taking just a chapter a day, I know I will need to reread this book because there is so much to chew on in Brennan Manning’s writings.  It has been a tremendous and challenging read in so many ways but very powerful for me in his consistent and dogged pursuit of communicating God’s grace.  My copy is marked up significantly -everything from stories to sentences quote to short phrases that shot straight to my very soul.

I’m convinced that we must repeat over and over again the beauty and shocking truth of God’s grace – not just for those who have not heard it of it before but especially for those who have heard about it all our lives and are at great risk of taking grace for granted.  How easy it is for us to sing the chorus of Amazing Grace and at the same time the words of ‘saved a wretch like me’ are falling from our lips our eyes are critiquing fashion styles and our minds are criticizing tempo speeds. We take grace for granted.  We short-change grace. We water it down and tidy it up and box it in and block it out.  So many things about religion rob us of the soul-shocking, mind-blowing truth of grace.

In Manning’s book, he discusses the idea of second journeys.  Second journeys for the Christian, he says, usually occur between the ages of thirty and sixty and is often accompanied by a second call from the Lord Jesus.  The second call invites us to serious reflection on the nature and quality of our faith in the gospel of grace, our hope in the new and not yet, and our love for God and people. The call asks, Do you really accept the message that God is head over heels in love with you? (165)

I understand better than ever that this question is at the heart of spiritual maturity and growth. As Manning says, if in our hearts we really don’t believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross.

It is amazing how you can hear about something repeatedly and yet fail to truly grasp it.  And then in the moments when the weight of the meaning penetrates your mind and soul, you are left breathless and in tears of gratitude. Is it not the desire of every individual to be loved this way? Yet we so ignorantly toss it aside and desperately grab at things around us to give us the sense of peace that God alone provides.

"In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us – that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough." Manning (46)

My prayer tonight is that for each of us God will be our everything and that will be enough.

Shalom-
Melissa

From The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning:

On a sweltering summer night in New Orleans, sixteen recovering alcoholics and drug addicts gather for their weekly AA meeting.  Although several members attend other meetings during the week, this is their home group. They have been meeting on Tuesday nights for several years and know each other well.  Some talk to each other daily on the telephone; others socialize outside the meetings.  The personal investment in one another’s sobriety is sizable. Nobody fools anybody else. Everyone is there because he or she made a slobbering mess of his or her life and is trying to put the pieces back together. Each meeting is marked by levity and seriousness. Some members are wealthy, others middle class or poor. Some smoke, others don’t. Most drink coffee. Some have graduate degrees, others have not finished high school. For one small hour, the high and the mighty descend and the lowly rise. The result is fellowship.

The meeting opened with the Serenity Prayer followed by a moment of silence. The prologue to Alcoholics Anonymous was read from the Big Book by Harry, followed by the Twelve Steps of the program from Michelle.  That night, Jack was the appointed leader.  "The theme I would like to talk about tonight is gratitude," he began, "But if anyone wants to talk about something else, let’s hear it."

Immediately Phil’s hand shot up. "As you know, last week I went up to Pennsylvania to visit family and missed the meeting. You also know I have been sober for seven years. Last Monday I got drunk and stayed drunk for five days."

The only sound in the room was the drip of Mr. Coffee in the corner.

"You all know the buzz word, H.A.L.T., in this program." he continued.  "Don’t let yourself get hungry, angry, lonely, or tired or you will be very vulnerable for the first drink. The last three got to me. I unplugged the jug and . . . "

Phil’s voice choked and he lowered his head. I glanced around the table – moist eyes, tears of compassion, soft sobbing the only sound in the room.

"The same thing happened to me, Phil, but I stayed drunk for a year."

"Thank God you’re back."

"Boy, that took a lot of guts."

"Relapse spells relief, Phil," said a substance abuse counselor. "Let’s get together tomorrow and figure out what you needed relief from and why."

"I’m so proud of you."

"Hell, I never made even close to seven years."

As the meeting ended, Phil stood up. He felt a hand on his shoulder, another on his face. Then kisses on his eyes, forehead, neck and cheek.  "You old ragamuffin," said Denise. "Let’s go. I’m treating you to a banana split at Tastee Freeze."

If only our churches and communities of faith were more like this AA meeting. That is my prayer and my vision.

Peace and grace -
Melissa