Recently, I was at a local park with my family for my nephew’s cub scout picnic. During some down time, I took my five-year-old niece down the hill to the playground to burn off some energy and enjoy the gorgeous spring day.

She went straight for the swings. After hopping up in the seat and grabbing hold of the chains, she gave me the “push me, Aunt Moe” look followed by verbal confirmation.

Morgan soaring on the swings. I clearly excel at pushing.

So I pushed her, she started pumping her legs and everyone was happy.

Except for a little girl sitting on the swing next to my niece. She was around 4 or 5 years of age and was at a “sit still”. She called out to her daddy who was nearby reading a book. “Push me, daddy. Push me.”  But he didn’t look up from his book.  She said this a few times with no acknowledgment from her dad.

Then, Morgan looked at me as she swung past me and commanded ….

PUSH HER, AUNT MOE.

In her mind, it was so simple. There was a little girl who needed a push and I knew how to push. So – push her. You could almost hear Morgan utter “DUH” as she swung back by me. Stop standing there when you know what to do.

It struck me that perhaps this is what God utters a lot to me.

Near me is someone who is at a stand still. They need a push – a nudge, an ear, a hand, a chance, a break, an advocate.

God looks at me and commands ….

PUSH HER, MELISSA.

In God’s mind, it is so simple. There is someone who has a need and I am able to meet that need. So – do it. I can almost hear God utter “duh” as I “pray” about whether I should act. Stop standing there when you know what to do.

I could not and did not push every child that was at that playground that night and wanted to swing.

But I did help one little girl who was near me when my niece’s voice broke through to make me aware of this one who had a need that I could do something about.

As kids do, the girls continued to swing for about three minutes and then Morgan slowed herself down and got off the swing. Her new friend did the same and as she ran past me following my niece I heard her call out to Morgan, “Can we play together?”

Morgan had advocated for her. Morgan had moved someone to help her. And that made this little girl trust her and want to call her friend.

Perhaps the same will happen when we listen to God to help someone. Perhaps we can help them connect the dots that it is God who advocates for them. God has moved us to help them. And just maybe they will want to call God friend as well because of it.

Or maybe, at the very least, I simply gave someone a push that got us both moving out of a stand still.

One of the things we tell people over and over again as we prepare to travel to spend time with our mission partners around the world is that relationships trump projects. Always.

Every culture that I’ve spent time with values relationships over projects – except American culture. Obviously, this is a generalization but I believe there is a lot of truth to this statement.  We are a very project oriented culture. Success is based on whether we accomplished a goal or completed a project satisfactorily or have something to show for our day. Otherwise, we’ve wasted it.

One of the greatest benefits we receive from our time with our family around the world is the reminder that relationships are the heartbeat, the lifeblood. You absolutely MUST put them first.

I always remember our partner, Jason, telling us in Kenya how to go into a local market to purchase something. In our culture, you know what you want. You go in. Avoid eye contact. Grab what you need, pay for it, maybe grunt, perhaps even smile and then out you go. It is admirable to be “in and out”.  In Kenya, when you enter the market, you take the time to make small talk with the owner or the worker. You ask about their day, their family, the news. And THEN …. you may proceed to inquire about what you are needing.

It kills Americans. Sometimes you can see the physical pain as their patience is stretched to its breaking point. I still have my moments where I forget the importance of BEING rather than DOING.

The works-oriented nature of the western world has influenced our faith and religious practices. There is a tremendous pressure for us to produce, to be busy working for the kingdom – at the sacrifice of relationships – not only with others but most importantly with God.

We are addicted to and obsessed with the work of the kingdom, with little to no idea of how to be with the King.

I read this recently in a tremendous article by Mike Breen from a couple of years ago but it is still incredibly relevant and horribly true.

I am incredibly guilty of this. I’ve spent so much more time on kingdom work than King love. The past few months this has been the primary thing that God and I have been working on. I know that sounds ironic – working on “not working on something”. But trust me. It is the right kind of work.

I feel like God and I are doing this a lot together lately. I’m kind of liking it.

We spend a lot time right now just being together. Contemplating. God teaching me how to be aware of my Maker. Jesus teaching me how to sit at the feet of our Abba and be a learner and a lover. I utter “Abba, I belong to You.” over and over throughout the day. It has become my breathing prayer, my centering prayer to remind me this life, this day, this agenda is not mine. It – and I – belong to Another.

I’m learning to sit and stretch first and run second.

Just like physical therapy is teaching me the importance of stretching and posture so that I can move with more strength and distance without self-injury, spiritually I’m learning the same thing. So many of us are trying to run first and only sit when we run out of breath, collapse or cause self-injury. A relationship with God isn’t all “sitting” or all “running”. Both are a part of the journey but we’ve put (and idolize) the cart before the horse.

Life with God isn’t meant to be this way. Seriously.

With God, relationships trump projects. Always. 

And our relationship with the King trumps all.