Wonderings and Wanderings

Meditation by Claudia Mair Burney in the book Justice in the Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson (pp. 80-81)

“Jesus lives next door.  He’s an eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother.  The Son of Man looks like those starving Ethiopian children.  He only gets breakfast and lunch at school, when he makes it.  His mama is a crack whore. Nobody knows where his daddy is.  I heard his mama lets her “Johns” do things to him.

Poor King of Kings.

Jesus is two houses down and has six children.  Now he’s pregnant with the seventh.  I don’t know if he hasn’t figured out what birth control is, or what, but how does he expect his husband to feed all those babies on that salary? And you know with all those kids the Lord of Lords can’t work.  That means hardworking taxpayers’ money has to go for Christ’s food stamps!

He needs to get fixed.

The Lord is a crazy man – paranoid schizophrenic.  If he doesn’t take his medication, he walks up and down the street cussing and spitting on everybody he passes.  He’s homeless.  Nobody knows where his family is – if he’s got one.  Digs out of the trash cans for food.  Somebody ought to get him off the street.

Jesus is nothing but a nuisance.

I’m starting to see the Son of God everywhere I go.  He’s always crying or begging or looking pitiful.  Why doesn’t he pull himself up by his boostraps?  This is Amercia!  Makes me mad.  He’s ruining our neighborhood.

Somebody out to do something about him.

Somebody.”

I’m two days into my annual solitude vacation.  For a few years now, my parents give me a week away for my birthday.  They know their daughter well.  Solitude and meditation are healing for me and after a busy summer of travel, this week was very needed.

I’ve slept in. I’ve not seen a person I know. I’ve showered but not much else. I’ve enjoyed the beautiful outdoors.  I’ve read.  I’ve thought. I’ve prayed.

Today I truly realized how much I’ve healed from my severe burnout and depression from three years ago.  It truly has taken longer to heal than I thought it would once I realized and accepted what I was dealing with.  What a journey.  How wonderful to realize how time, family and friends, medication and God have carried me to a place where I’m steady on my feet again and willing, and excited, to look forward.  Those who have suffered from depression know what an amazing step it is to be able to look forward at all – let alone with excitement.  I want to acknowledge and CELEBRATE – not that I’m cured, but that I’m healed.  There is a difference.

One of my desires for this week is to assess my life at this point and to makes some changes.  In health and rest is a good time to do such reflection. I’ve allowed my job to take precedence over my relationship with God.  I’m too busy doing things for God that I don’t make time to be with God.  I’ve not been listening.  I’ve not been quiet.  I’ve been too busy doing that I didn’t realize that I left God back a few miles at the last rest stop.  This week is about turning around, finding God, and spending some time together catching up. Just the four of us.

Today is my 36th birthday.  It has been a great 36 years and I hope for another 36 at least.   I’ve been blessed in so many, many ways.

I’ve had the best family anyone could dream of having.  My parents are my heros in so many ways and truly my friends, my advisors, my confidants.  My sister is so dear to me and I love her and her dear family.  My niece and my nephew are my inspiration for making the moments in life count by investing in what is important and saying “no” to what isn’t.

I’m blessed with countless friends who are there for me through all things. Friends who forgive me and give me grace.  Friends who remind me that it isn’t good for man to be alone.

I’m blessed with a career that helps me live a life of purpose.  Working with youth that believe they can make a difference and who keep me honest.  Teenagers who love me because I love them – not because of what I wear or how I look or because I speak for reals, homie.   Organizing mission partnerships so that members of our church family can be a part of something bigger than themselves.  Traveling all over the world meeting the people God loves and weeps for because they are His children.

I’m blessed because I have a house to live in, a vehicle to get around in, insurance when I’m sick, clothes in my closet, food in my cabinets, clean water in my pipes.

There is nothing I need.

But what I wish for my birthday ….  what I hope comes true when I close my eyes and blow out the candles … what I hope we all wish for when our special day comes ….

is for others to be blessed.

If you want to bless others in honor of my birthday, you can go here – http://mycharitywater.org/melissa .

Watch this video and learn more about charity:water. It is worth the four minutes.

The story of charity: water – The 2009 September Campaign Trailer from charity: water on Vimeo.

Shannon County is in red.

On Monday, I traveled three hours south of Jefferson City, Missouri, to Shannon County.  Shannon County is a county located in South Central Missouri and is the poorest county in the state.  It is also one of the most beautiful areas of the state as it is home to the Mark Twain National Forest and Ozark National Scenic Riverways.  Many people travel to this area for camping, floating, and trail riding.  One of the towns in that county, Timber, is home to Schwagstock, an regular music and drug festival in the style of Woodstock.

But for all of it’s rich beauty and culture, it is home to some of Missouri’s poorest individuals.  Often we think of urban areas as having a monopoly on poverty.  But rural areas throughout our country are just as impoverished – if not worse.  And resources to help are few and far between.

As of the census of 2000, the median income for a household in the county was $24,835, and the median income for a family was $30,102. Males had a median income of $21,917 versus $16,024 for females. The per capita income for the county was $13,127. About 21.00% of families and 26.90% of the population were below the poverty line, including 35.10% of those under age 18 and 20.20% of those age 65 or older.

The purpose of my trip on Monday and Tuesday was to observe and to cast nets – with two hats on.  One hat as a member of the Coordinating Council for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of Missouri.  The other hat as pastor of missions for First Baptist. We have been praying about mission opportunities within our state borders – opportunities to partner with good people already at work in areas with great need.  It is an idea born out of the Together for Hope (TFH) initiative of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.  TFH is a long term commitment to working with people in the 20 of the nation’s poorest counties in order to affect change and break the cycle of economic disparity.  It is about relationships and about transformation.  Transformation of lives and of communities.

There are some amazing individuals hard at work in Shannon County.  Every day they work to help each other and to dream about a future for the children of the community. It was a blessing to travel there and learn from them.  To learn how they work together to meet needs through a free medical clinic.  To learn how community action leaders continue to fight against all obstacles because they love their community.

I’m looking forward to more conversations in the next month about how we might be able to work alongside them  - learning about the amazing heritage and dreaming of the hopeful future.

What an amazing summer.  I really wish I had blogged more throughout it.  I did but not on this blog.  If you want to read about the summer, you can read our church’s missions blog where I posted while on my travels.  It was so awesome.  I loved the people I met and the new places I was able to see.  We have some amazing ministry partners around the world. But being home about two weeks out of eight was a little draining for this introvert.  I was able to take a couple of weeks of downtime recently and just this week returned to work.

I used to teach high school history before entering the ministry and there isn’t a lot that I miss from those years.  Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed teaching.  But I love a lot of the things about my work now.  The only thing that I really miss is the mental break that comes from ending a school year and then beginning a brand new one.  You could clean out files and student assignments and come August begin the year anew.

In ministry, I find that your game must always be on.  While you are in the current season of life, you must also be planning for the next and the next.  Just once, it would be nice to sit back and go – DONE!  So as summer has ended and I’m trying to recover, I’m already way behind on things for the 2009-2010 year.

I’m sure there are other occupations and jobs like this.  When I look around at other individuals and families, I know that most of us always seem to be two or twenty steps behind where we feel we need to be.

The trick is to learn to savor the present and to focus on the right priorities.  I’ve struggled with this throughout life – somewhat of a workaholic as long as there is meaning and purpose in that work. This inability to savor and prioritize was the major cause of my burnout and depression three years ago. Depression that I continue to flirt with because I overwhelmed myself so severely and I still struggle with the lessons I learned.

Last week on vacation, I thought a lot about boundaries and limits.  How do I do the job/ministry I’m called to do and love to do and still establish boundaries and self-care?  How do I slow myself down to prioritize instead of wanting to do everything and do it now?  How do I smell the roses when I’m hard-wired to notice that there are other rose bushes that need to be planted so that more can enjoy them?

I’m on the journey of trying to figure this out and makes some changes with God’s guidance.

A few weeks ago, Bill Hybels said this at The Leadership Summit at WillowCreek:

The pace at which I’m doing the work of God is destroying God’s work in me.” – Bill Hybels

What a true statement and what a horrible crime.

How do you protect God’s work in you?  How do you establish and protect priorities?  How do you walk away from things unfinished?  I’d love to hear your journey.

I leave Sunday for the third and final mission trip of the summer.  This time around I’m heading out with my youth to Atlanta, Georgia, for a week of service at the Moncrief Center. We will be spending each day working with about 60 children in grades kindergarten – fifth grade.  Most of the children are Hispanic children that live close to the Moncrief Center.  They provide many ministries throughout the year.  During the summer, groups come for a week and prepare different activities and lessons to both teach the children and have fun.

Each evening the youth also sing at various locations – churches, senior centers, hospitals, homeless shelters.  They are basically busy from 8 am – 8 pm.

I’m taking 34 youth and 14 adults along for the journey.  We are so excited to spend time together as a youth family as well.   On Saturday, we will be touring the Coca-Cola Museum and the Georgia Aquarium.  Some of the youth are headed to a Braves/Mets game.  Watch it on Fox!  Those ants way in the balcony?  That will be them.

Thanks for your prayers for our trip!  We appreciate all the prayers that we can get.  I’ll be posting updates from the trip on our website at http://www.refugeonline.org. Check there throughout the week to see and hear about our amazing week!

I’m a slacker.  Sue me.

I’ve literally been on the road six of the last eight weeks. It is officially crazy summer time. Don’t get me wrong.  I love what I do and the opportunities I get to experience.  It just makes for an incredibly busy life where I long ago dropped all the balls or the plates or my marbles.

The trips to Kenya and the Dominican were amazing.  God has such amazing people at work there and it is so humbling to go serve with them and learn from them.  They teach me so much about faith, servanthood, sacrifice, priorities.  God has blessed us with some amazing partners.  And of course, the children.  Simply amazing.  God’s best work. Being in their presence totally makes the “faith of a child” charge by Jesus come alive.  They love so much and judge so little.

When I get busy like this, I often don’t have the time or make the time to process.  This is a shame because there is so much amazing life happening around us on any given day.  It reminds me of my most favorite bit of prose by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Earth’s crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God;

But only he who sees takes off his shoes-

The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.

Anyone want some blackberry muffins?  I’ve got an abundance right now.